Plastic Nev Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 The clocks go back next week, my problem is, I can't remember where I got them from. A friend got arrested for kicking a policeman, he had been out for a meal and his wife told him it was his turn to foot the bill. Quote Need help with your computer problems? Then why not join Free PC Help. Register here. If Free PC Help has helped you then please consider a donation. Click here We are all members helping other members. Please return here where you may be able to help someone else. After all, no one knows everything and you may have the answer that someone needs. -------------------------------------------------------------------- I have installed Windows, now how do I install the curtains? 😄
Plastic Nev Posted October 30, 2011 Posted October 30, 2011 Must have been a hot day. http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y282/plasticpig/Melted.jpg Quote Need help with your computer problems? Then why not join Free PC Help. Register here. If Free PC Help has helped you then please consider a donation. Click here We are all members helping other members. Please return here where you may be able to help someone else. After all, no one knows everything and you may have the answer that someone needs. -------------------------------------------------------------------- I have installed Windows, now how do I install the curtains? 😄
Plastic Nev Posted December 28, 2011 Posted December 28, 2011 This is a friendly reminder about drinking and driving over the festive period. I went out last night, had quite few beers, then left my car at the pub and took the bus home. I am very proud of myself this morning as I have never driven a bus before! Quote Need help with your computer problems? Then why not join Free PC Help. Register here. If Free PC Help has helped you then please consider a donation. Click here We are all members helping other members. Please return here where you may be able to help someone else. After all, no one knows everything and you may have the answer that someone needs. -------------------------------------------------------------------- I have installed Windows, now how do I install the curtains? 😄
Plastic Nev Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 Still on the driving topic, for anyone about to go anywhere by the UK motorways be aware [h=6]a tanker of vicks vapour rub has crashed on the M6 - police have reported that there will be no congestion for at least 8 hours...[/h] Quote Need help with your computer problems? Then why not join Free PC Help. Register here. If Free PC Help has helped you then please consider a donation. Click here We are all members helping other members. Please return here where you may be able to help someone else. After all, no one knows everything and you may have the answer that someone needs. -------------------------------------------------------------------- I have installed Windows, now how do I install the curtains? 😄
Plastic Nev Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 Valentine Memories......aaaaaah! I'll never forget how happy I was when I saw my missus walking down the aisle towards me. My heart was beating fast and the excitement was unbearable. It seemed to take an age but eventually there she was, standing beside me. I gave her a cheeky wink and said, "Get that trolley over here, love, .........they're doing 3 cases of beer for the price of 2." Quote Need help with your computer problems? Then why not join Free PC Help. Register here. If Free PC Help has helped you then please consider a donation. Click here We are all members helping other members. Please return here where you may be able to help someone else. After all, no one knows everything and you may have the answer that someone needs. -------------------------------------------------------------------- I have installed Windows, now how do I install the curtains? 😄
Jelly Bean Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 I think when I read this thread some of the jokes are great.But I still think the rubbish I post on my FaceBook profile is funnier.... Quote Rwy'n ceisio fy ngorau......................
RandyL Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 I'm going to agree with that. Quote We are all members helping other members. Please return here where you may be able to help someone else. After all, no one knows everything and you may have the answer that someone needs.Get help with computer problems. Join Free PC Help here Donations are welcome. Read Here
Plastic Nev Posted February 22, 2012 Posted February 22, 2012 I bet this hurt the wallet a little. Wife by text to husband at work ............ "Windows at home frozen - what should I do?" Husband - "spray some de-icer or pour hot water on them" Wife a few minutes later - "Done that - now computer won't work at all"! Nev. Quote Need help with your computer problems? Then why not join Free PC Help. Register here. If Free PC Help has helped you then please consider a donation. Click here We are all members helping other members. Please return here where you may be able to help someone else. After all, no one knows everything and you may have the answer that someone needs. -------------------------------------------------------------------- I have installed Windows, now how do I install the curtains? 😄
Plastic Nev Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 The Cow, an Ant and an Old Fart A cow, an ant and an old fart are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them. The cow said, "I give 20 quarts of milk every day and that's why I am the greatest!" The ant said, "I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own weight and that's why I am the greatest!" Why are you scrolling down? It's your turn to say something... Quote Need help with your computer problems? Then why not join Free PC Help. Register here. If Free PC Help has helped you then please consider a donation. Click here We are all members helping other members. Please return here where you may be able to help someone else. After all, no one knows everything and you may have the answer that someone needs. -------------------------------------------------------------------- I have installed Windows, now how do I install the curtains? 😄
Plastic Nev Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 Medical examination.......... While examining his lady patient, the doctor tells her: "Your heart, lungs, pulse & BP are fine. Now let me see that little thing which gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble." The lady started taking off her panties..... Doctor, stopping her: "No! No! Please put on your clothes. Just show me your tongue." Quote Need help with your computer problems? Then why not join Free PC Help. Register here. If Free PC Help has helped you then please consider a donation. Click here We are all members helping other members. Please return here where you may be able to help someone else. After all, no one knows everything and you may have the answer that someone needs. -------------------------------------------------------------------- I have installed Windows, now how do I install the curtains? 😄
Plastic Nev Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?" The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302." The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room." After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, "I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow." The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good news." The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?" The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me anything here!" Quote Need help with your computer problems? Then why not join Free PC Help. Register here. If Free PC Help has helped you then please consider a donation. Click here We are all members helping other members. Please return here where you may be able to help someone else. After all, no one knows everything and you may have the answer that someone needs. -------------------------------------------------------------------- I have installed Windows, now how do I install the curtains? 😄
kety_smith Posted November 14, 2012 Posted November 14, 2012 A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?" The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302." The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room." After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, "I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow." The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good news." The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?" The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me anything here!" How funny, many have fun :) hihihi Quote
scottlad Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 You better watch out, you better not cry, You better pay up, I'm telling you why, Mr Cameron's coming to town . He's making his cuts, checking them twice, He doesn't think that benefits are nice, Mr Cameron's coming to town. He sees where you are sleeping, He knows if a bedrooms spare, That empty bed cant hide from him, He can tell if no one's there. And if you've any children, And they number more than two, You'd better hide the others, Or he'll tax you for them too! He can't wait for April, He's planned who he will curse, With extra cuts so he can make Next years Christmas even worse. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE.. Quote
Plastic Nev Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 You can tell it is getting cold and the temperature is below freezing when that lump of dog mess trips you up. Quote Need help with your computer problems? Then why not join Free PC Help. Register here. If Free PC Help has helped you then please consider a donation. Click here We are all members helping other members. Please return here where you may be able to help someone else. After all, no one knows everything and you may have the answer that someone needs. -------------------------------------------------------------------- I have installed Windows, now how do I install the curtains? 😄
Plastic Nev Posted January 1, 2013 Posted January 1, 2013 Well now it is the first day of 2013, I can let you into this very bad Christmas cracker joke. For any people you may know who are the naturist type that like walking around with no clothes on, I do hope you wished them a Happy Nude Year. Nev. Quote Need help with your computer problems? Then why not join Free PC Help. Register here. If Free PC Help has helped you then please consider a donation. Click here We are all members helping other members. Please return here where you may be able to help someone else. After all, no one knows everything and you may have the answer that someone needs. -------------------------------------------------------------------- I have installed Windows, now how do I install the curtains? 😄
Plastic Nev Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 Got a phone call from a neighbour today who told me my cat had been chasing a young child down the street on a bicycle. I told him it was impossible, my cat can't ride a bike and doesn't even have one. Nev. Quote Need help with your computer problems? Then why not join Free PC Help. Register here. If Free PC Help has helped you then please consider a donation. Click here We are all members helping other members. Please return here where you may be able to help someone else. After all, no one knows everything and you may have the answer that someone needs. -------------------------------------------------------------------- I have installed Windows, now how do I install the curtains? 😄
Plastic Nev Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 Mary told her friend, "I am beginning to feel old" Her friend asked why, Mary replied, "As you know I live in a bungalow, when I woke up this morning, the sun was shining into my bedroom and the day was looking good, so I took off my pyjama's to get dressed when a peeping tom looked in through the window" Her friend said "Why on earth did that make you feel old?" Mary replied. "He took one look, then reached in and shut the curtains" Quote Need help with your computer problems? Then why not join Free PC Help. Register here. If Free PC Help has helped you then please consider a donation. Click here We are all members helping other members. Please return here where you may be able to help someone else. After all, no one knows everything and you may have the answer that someone needs. -------------------------------------------------------------------- I have installed Windows, now how do I install the curtains? 😄
Plastic Nev Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 I said to this bloke in the pub, Don't drink that Theakstons dark mild mate, it will make your teeth fall out! He looked at me and said "Oh really?" I said yep, because it is my pint!! Quote Need help with your computer problems? Then why not join Free PC Help. Register here. If Free PC Help has helped you then please consider a donation. Click here We are all members helping other members. Please return here where you may be able to help someone else. After all, no one knows everything and you may have the answer that someone needs. -------------------------------------------------------------------- I have installed Windows, now how do I install the curtains? 😄
Jelly Bean Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 Every time I look in the mirror I see the joke looking back at me......... Quote Rwy'n ceisio fy ngorau......................
KenB Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 Every time I look in the mirror I see the joke looking back at me......... You mean you see Nev in your mirror ?? :) Quote There is an email going around offering processed pork - gelatin - and salt in a can ......this is simply SPAM !! MiniToolBoxNetwork TestWireless Test
Jelly Bean Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 No,Nev is in the bed behind me hahahahahahaha Quote Rwy'n ceisio fy ngorau......................
KenB Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 No comment :) Quote There is an email going around offering processed pork - gelatin - and salt in a can ......this is simply SPAM !! MiniToolBoxNetwork TestWireless Test
Plastic Nev Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 This must be one of the funniest office pranks I have seen for some time. http://i72.servimg.com/u/f72/14/68/69/96/chair_10.jpg Imagine it, you have been running round the office, helping others, delivering paper work to the boss, stood at the photocopier for half an hour, another half an hour at the shredder, you are ready to sit down and have a rest and PAAAARP. Quote Need help with your computer problems? Then why not join Free PC Help. Register here. If Free PC Help has helped you then please consider a donation. Click here We are all members helping other members. Please return here where you may be able to help someone else. After all, no one knows everything and you may have the answer that someone needs. -------------------------------------------------------------------- I have installed Windows, now how do I install the curtains? 😄
Plastic Nev Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 From a farmer friend. I recently spent £6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day. The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbour's cows! He's like a machine! I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him................ .......but they kind of taste like peppermint. Quote Need help with your computer problems? Then why not join Free PC Help. Register here. If Free PC Help has helped you then please consider a donation. Click here We are all members helping other members. Please return here where you may be able to help someone else. After all, no one knows everything and you may have the answer that someone needs. -------------------------------------------------------------------- I have installed Windows, now how do I install the curtains? 😄
Plastic Nev Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 I seem to have a problem with my mouse pointer, it has gained a life of its own. http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y282/plasticpig/cursercsc-1.gif Nev. Quote Need help with your computer problems? Then why not join Free PC Help. Register here. If Free PC Help has helped you then please consider a donation. Click here We are all members helping other members. Please return here where you may be able to help someone else. After all, no one knows everything and you may have the answer that someone needs. -------------------------------------------------------------------- I have installed Windows, now how do I install the curtains? 😄
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