Jokes

[KenB]

I seem to have a problem with my mouse pointer, it has gained a life of its own.

 

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y282/plasticpig/cursercsc-1.gif

Mine too :)

[Plastic Nev]

A recent scientific announcement says we should never trust atoms, they make up everything.

 

From a different story, if you see a couple of bacteria around on the forum, it is OK, they work here, they are staph.

 

 

(Don't know what that makes me though!)

 

 

Nev.

[Plastic Nev]

A small Scottish community had kept a communal cow for many years to provide milk for everyone, however as it got older it stopped producing milk.

The village elders got together and realised that they would have to get another cow, and as they found out there was a cow for sale at a reasonable price from a small village in Wales, so they arranged for its purchase.

Once the cow had arrived everyone was once again happy as the new Welsh cow was providing lots of milk.

The elders thought that it may be a good idea to obtain a bull so that to prevent a future loss of milk they should be able to breed more cows, so a bull was obtained.

 

However it seemed to prove a bit fruitless as whenever the bull approached the cow, the cow moved away, whatever the bull did, the cow wouldn't allow him anywhere near.

The next nearest village did have an old vet who was regarded as perhaps the wisest man in Scotland, so they went to see him and explained that the bull couldn't do his duty with the new cow as whatever the bull tried, the cow just avoided him, if the bull approached from behind, the cow moved forwards, if from the front, the cow moved backwards, if from the side she moved sideways away.

 

The vet rubbed his chin and asked if the cow happened to be from Wales?

The people were amazed as they hadn't told him where it had come from, so he must indeed be a wise man, so asked him how he knew?

 

He looked into the distance with a whimsical look and said "My wife is from Wales!"

[RandyL]

LMAO

 

That's all I can say about that.

[Plastic Nev]

Hum, looking a bit derelict around here recently so here is something to grin about.

 

Jimmy knocked on the door and a husband opened it, Jimmy said "Your wife has just made me crash my car into a tree"

Husband replied, "She can't have done, she is upstairs having a shower"

Jimmy replied, "I know,----- your curtains are open".

[bob12a]

good un Nev

[Plastic Nev]

One dark night a lady with a huge black eye stumbled into the police station. She said that she had heard a noise out on the back garden and had gone to investigate. The next thing she knew was that she had been hit hard in the face and had blacked out for a short time.

A police officer was sent to her home and returned later also sporting a black eye. "Did you get hit by the same attacker" asked the sergeant

"No sergeant, I didn't, I stepped on the same garden rake"

[bob12a]

I laughed elswhere as well.

[Cpvr]

Why don’t skeletons fight each other?

 

They don’t have the guts!

[Cpvr]

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

 

Because he was outstanding in his field!