Jokes

[Plastic Nev]

Can you use "typewriter" to put text into a blank book ... those diary things? Only if pages are removable and replaceable

If so.. what kind of connection does it use to connect to the book? Mechanical by roller and tape.

Does "typewriter" support multiple languages? Yes.

Does it have spell check? No, not yet supported.

What kind of operating system does "typewriter" use? Being pre Sinclair, now not even known. But suspected to be "Human".

Is it compatible with other programs? No compatibility can be found.

What kind of peripherals are available for "typewriter"? Only known instance being black and red striped tape.

Can "typewriter" be used in conjunction with "pen"? perhaps. Yet to be proved.

What if I have text already in the ".pen" format...will "typewriter" be able to convert it, or for that matter even be able to "read" text that has been saved in the ".pen" format? Typewriter is ROM only. Read heads had not been devised at that time.

 

 

( ;) )

Please note "Typewriter was early pre Sinclair technology, most knowledge of it now lost.:D:D

[BeeCeeBee]

I used to be a mod here.... (Help4me)

 

It occurs to me, having reviewed the last 221 posts to Extreme Tech Support - Free PC Help, that your posts to thread seems to make the most sense.

 

Please come back we need you!!

[help4me]

 

It occurs to me, having reviewed the last 221 posts to Extreme Tech Support - Free PC Help, that your posts to thread seems to make the most sense.

 

Please come back we need you!!

 

LOL... your post is perfect in the "joke" section, as you MUST be joking :p ;) :D

 

(except about my posts making sense ;) )

Edited December 6, 2008 by help4me

[help4me]

Please note "Typewriter was early pre Sinclair technology, most knowledge of it now lost.:D:D

 

Can you use "typewriter" to put text into a blank book ... those diary things? Only if pages are removable and replaceable

All pages are removable if you have any version of "scissor."

 

If so.. what kind of connection does it use to connect to the book? Mechanical by roller and tape.

Which version of roller and tape? For tape I have the "scotch" version, the "masking" version, the "cassette" version, and the high end, resource hog of the "duct" version. Which version will be compatible with "typwriter"?

 

Does "typewriter" support multiple languages? Yes.

Wonderful. Does it automatically translate like bablefish?

 

 

Does it have spell check? No, not yet supported.

Hmmm... and here I thought that "dictionary" was supposed to be compatible with just about anything.

 

What kind of operating system does "typewriter" use? Being pre Sinclair, now not even known. But suspected to be "Human".

What version of "human"? We have several versions available... human 9.85, human 15.5, human 26.25, and human 33.5. On occasion we have human 3.0 and human 1.0, but those are "borrowed" editions.

 

Is it compatible with other programs? No compatibility can be found.

Not even with "paper" 8.5?

 

What kind of peripherals are available for "typewriter"? Only known instance being black and red striped tape.

I don't have that version.

 

Can "typewriter" be used in conjunction with "pen"? perhaps. Yet to be proved.

You mean there is no version of "pen" that will work with "typewriter?"

 

What if I have text already in the ".pen" format...will "typewriter" be able to convert it, or for that matter even be able to "read" text that has been saved in the ".pen" format? Typewriter is ROM only. Read heads had not been devised at that time.

So how am I supposed to transfer all of my "pen" documents to "typwriter"? Edited December 6, 2008 by help4me

[Plastic Nev]

:D:D:D OK OK I give up!!!:D

[Goku]

All pages are removable if you have any version of "scissor."

The pages should not only be removable but replaceable too. Any version of "Scissor" will truncate the "paper" from the "Typewriter" and you will not be able to type on it. Replacing the "paper" is also be a daunting, boring and tedious procedure and may render your typewriter inoperable.

 

Which version of roller and tape? For tape I have the "scotch" version, the "masking" version, the "cassette" version, and the high end, resource hog of the "duct" version. Which version will be compatible with "typwriter"?

The "masking" version of tape will give you the best results since it is easy to use and simpler to remove if there is an error.

 

Wonderful. Does it automatically translate like bablefish?

No, the "typewriter" does not automatically translate the text into the different language. For that, it depends on the "human" extension to translate and rewrite the text onto the "paper".

 

Hmmm... and here I thought that "dictionary" was supposed to be compatible with just about anything.

The "dictionary" can be a useful add-on to use with the "typewriter" but not in the context of a spell-check. To use the "dictionary", you must know the correct spelling of the word in question and thus it is not much help. So no, spell-check is not supported in "typewriter".

 

What version of "human"? We have several versions available... human 9.85, human 15.5, human 26.25, and human 33.5. On occasion we have human 3.0 and human 1.0, but those are "borrowed" editions.

The most suitable version of human to use is "Human 2.0" as it very much advanced and can give you the most control over the "typewriter". "Borrowed", "Hired" and "Employed" editions are also supported.

 

Not even with "paper" 8.5?

Yes, it is compatible with "paper" 8.5.

 

You mean there is no version of "pen" that will work with "typewriter?"

"Pen" and "typewriter" can be used with each other but not simultaneously. After you have finished your work with either, you can add or modify the text using the other means.

 

So how am I supposed to transfer all of my "pen" documents to "typwriter"?

Unfortunately, there is no such converter available at the moment so I am afraid you will have to retype all your documents manually on the "typewriter". The inconvenience is regretted.

 

Hope that clears your queries. Let us know how it goes. :D

 

-- Goku

[help4me]

LOL... your post is perfect in the "joke" section, as you MUST be joking :p ;) :D

 

(except about my posts making sense ;) )

 

Beeceebee.... Just for clarification... the reason I said this... is that my tech skills, that would be needed to be an asset to this forum, are not up to par. I know my way around the computer, but do not have enough knowledge to help fix anything when it breaks ;)

[BeeCeeBee]

Yes, and ...........? Your Point? ;)

[Goku]

Beeceebee.... Just for clarification... the reason I said this... is that my tech skills, that would be needed to be an asset to this forum, are not up to par. I know my way around the computer, but do not have enough knowledge to help fix anything when it breaks ;)

Don't lie Bonnie. You used to be a media specialist here and had a knack for suggesting the correct solutions. :)

 

-- Goku

[help4me]

Don't lie Bonnie. You used to be a media specialist here and had a knack for suggesting the correct solutions. :)

 

-- Goku

 

Wow!!! That... what a ... Wow!!! :D You just made my day!!! :D Thank you for that wonderful compliment :D

[Dalo Harkin]

Bonnie - I for one am glad to see you back on the forum, come back more often.

Ignore the resident lunatics (you know who they are) :D

Barry is one of our latest 'institutees' (is that even a word Bonnie :))

[help4me]

Bonnie - I for one am glad to see you back on the forum, come back more often.

Ignore the resident lunatics (you know who they are) :D

Barry is one of our latest 'institutees' (is that even a word Bonnie :))

 

Wow... thanks Dalo :D

 

LOL... Did you forget... I am one of those lunatics ;)

 

Insitutees... I love it ... it's even better spoken than it is in print! :D

[help4me]

Pick the month you were born:

>

> > > January-------I kicked

> > > February------I loved

> > > March--------I karate chopped

> > > April----------I licked

> > > May----------I jumped on

> > > June----------I smelled

> > > July-----------I did the Macarena With

> > > August--------I had lunch with

> > > September----I danced with

> > > October-------I sang to

> > > November-----I yelled at

> > > December-----I ran over

>

> > > Pick the day (number) you were born on:

>

> > > 1-------a birdbath

> > > 2-------a monster

> > > 3-------a phone

> > > 4-------a fork

> > > 5-------a snowman

> > > 6-------a gangster

> > > 7-------my mobile phone

> > > 8-------my dog

> > > 9-------my best friends' boyfriend

> > > 10-------my neighbor

> > > 11-------my science teacher

> > > 12-------a banana

> > > 13-------a fireman

> > > 14-------a stuffed animal

> > > 15-------a goat

> > > 16-------a pickle

> > > 17-------your mom

> > > 18-------a spoon

> > > 19------ - a surf board

> > > 20-------a baseball bat

> > > 21-------a ninja

> > > 22-------Chuck Norris

> > > 23-------a noodle

> > > 24-------a squirrel

> > > 25-------a football player

> > > 26-------my sister

> > > 27-------my brother

> > > 28-------an iPod

> > > 29-------a surfer

> > > 30-------a llama

> > > 31-------A homeless guy

>

> > > Pick the color of shirt you are wearing right now:

>

> > > White---------because I'm cool like that

> > > Black---------because that's how I roll.

> > > Pink-----------because I'm crazy.

> > > Red-----------because the voices told me to.

> > > Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want

> > > Green---------because I think I need some serious help.

> > > Purple---------because I'm AWESOME!

> > > Gray----------because Big Bird said to and he's my leader.

> > > Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars

> > > Orange --------because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway.

> > > Brown---------because I can.

> > > Other----------because I'm a Ninja!

> > > None----------because I can't control myself!

>

>

> Now post the sentence you made. :p

[help4me]

My sentence....

 

I jumped on a homeless guy because I'm sexy and I do what I want. :p

[Goku]

My joins to become something like this:

 

"I jumped on a goat because I am cool like that."

 

Funny but nice way to know a person's birthdate.

 

-- Goku

[Dalo Harkin]

I karate chopped

your mum

because I'm sexy and do what I want :)

 

Very good Bonnie -

[DSTM]

I danced with my Dog,because I'm Crazy.

[BeeCeeBee]

I licked a birdbath because the voices told me to.

 

I don't see how that is different from my normal daily activities but if you think it is funny then it must be. Ok gotta go they are coming for me now.

[Goku]

I don't see how that is different from my normal daily activities but if you think it is funny then it must be. Ok gotta go they are coming for me now.

Yes, you have it right there. :D

 

-- Goku

[Plastic Nev]

I smelled your mom because big bird said to and he's my leader.

 

Beeceebee, are they coming in a big van, and is there room in there for me?:D

[Plastic Nev]

Well, before they actually do come and take us all away to the funny farm, some jokes. The first is topical for this time of year, bad, but topical. The second is nearly as bad.

 

Good King Wenceslas looked out and as the frost was cruel he called out "Hither Page and stand by me". The Page hurried along and said "What are your wishes Sire?". The King said "I could murder a pizza, go and order me one, but tell them it must be a lot better than the last if they value their heads.". The Page asked "What was the matter with the last one, Sire?". The King said "Well, the crust was thin and soggy and the toppings were put on as one great dollop.".

To make sure that he wasn't going to lose his head, the Page asked "Then how do you like your pizza Sire?".

Wenceslas replied "Oh, the usual, deep-pan, crisp and even".

 

I did warn you it was bad. Now for the second one.

 

A Texas couple, both bona-fide rednecks, had 9 children.

They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed".

 

The doctor gladly started the required procedure and asked them "What finally made them make the decision, and why after nine children, would they choose to do this? "

 

The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in the United States was Mexican, and they didn't want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish

[Guest Wolfeymole]

Lol Nev, I like the pizza gag though. :D

[BeeCeeBee]

The van is all yours Neville, you clearly need it more then me!!!!!

[Axalto]

You have mail!

 

'You have mail' joke.

http://extremetechsupport.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=245&stc=1&d=1229271233

[Goku]

Good one Axal. :)

 

-- Goku