Woman: A Chemical Composition

[Guest Wolfeymole]

Woman - A Chemical Analysis

 

Element : Woman

Symbol : Wo

Atomic Weight : Accepted as 118, but known to vary 105-175.

Discoverer : Adam

Occurrence : Copious quantities in all Urban areas, with slightly lower

concentrations in Suburban and Rural areas. Subject to seasonal

fluctuations.

 

Physical Properties :

a) Surface usually covered with painted film.

b) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.

c) Melts if given special treatment.

d) Bitter if used incorrectly. Can cause headaches. Handle with care!

e) Found in various states; ranging from virgin metal to common ore.

f) Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

 

Chemical Properties :

a) Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and many precious stones.

b) Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.

c) May explode spontaneously if left alone on dates.

d) Insoluble in liquids, but there is increased activity when saturated in

alcohol to a certain point.

e) Repels cheap material. Neutral to common sense.

f) Most powerful money reducing agent known to Man.

 

Uses :

a) Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.

b) Can greatly improve relaxation levels.

c) Can warm and comfort under some circumstances.

d) Can cool things down when it's too hot.

 

Tests :

a) Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.

b) Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

 

Caution :

a) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. Use extreme care when handling.

b) Illegal to possess more than one.

[DSTM]

Good One,Wolfey.How true.:D

[Guest Wolfeymole]

Ain't it mate lol. :D :D

[maynardvdm]

Most powerful money reducing agent known to Man

 

ROFL :D:D

[help4me]

Shall I smack you now or later Bob ;) :p

[Guest Wolfeymole]

heeheheheheheh :p :p

[Dalo Harkin]

e) Found in various states; ranging from virgin metal to common ore.

 

You missed the ** before Ore mate ROFL :D

[Guest Wolfeymole]

I think we all saw the inference Dave. :D :rolleyes:

 

I'd watch out for Bonnie if I were you mate, she has a high batting average lol

[Dalo Harkin]

but she is soooooooooooooooooo far away I mean she doesn't visit the UK does she :eek:

[RandyL]

She lives close to me. I'll pay her a visit and we can talk about YOU.

[Dalo Harkin]

*Dalo hides in the corner rocking like an escaped patient* :D

[Guest Wolfeymole]

Bonnie will say; "I'll look after you"

 

Just bear in mind the film, "Misery" Dave lol lol :D

 

Oh **** it's Bonnie :eek:

[help4me]

LMAO... you guys crack me up :p