A Womans Poem

[DSTM]

WOMANS POEM.

 

Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man, who's not a creep,

One who's handsome,

smart and strong.

One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,

One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's gainfully employed,

When I spend his cash,

won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door.

Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,

Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'

I pray that this man will love me to no end,

And always be my very best friend.

 

A MAN'S POEM:

 

I pray for a deaf- mute gymnast nymphomaniac with huge boobs

who owns a bar on a golf course,

and loves to send me fishing and drinking.

This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a S***.:D:D

[Dalo Harkin]

Lol -

Doug did your missus see that before you posted - lol

[DSTM]

No mate,2am here.Made sure, she was asleep first.LOL.

[maynardvdm]

ROFL. :D

 

Good one :)

[Seth]

This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a S***.:D:D

 

LMAO

 

My girlfriend seems to think I enjoy it when she shows me dress forms from a magazine. That's when I pull out an advertisement from my computer parts supplier and ask her what she thinks:D

[Guest Wolfeymole]

The wife's the same as I'm halfway though a mega serious tech issue, "What do you think of this colour for the wall?"

 

Do I give a flying **** what colour the wall is, this guys pc is in meltdown.

[Dalo Harkin]

The wife's the same as I'm halfway though a mega serious tech issue, "What do you think of this colour for the wall?"

 

Do I give a flying **** what colour the wall is, this guys pc is in meltdown.

 

The correct reply would be the walls will be painted red woman if you interrupt me again :D

 

(For the sake of your own health/life I would not say this aloud :o)

[Guest Wolfeymole]

I find if I ignore her long enough she will say; "your not really listening are you?"

 

I then say "Have a look what you want from the Curry House tonight" or "Is Emmerdale on yet."

 

Short sentences usually do the trick. Some sentences just involve two words only.

[Dalo Harkin]

the best thing is when you say I was listening and they say - 'go on then what did I say'' and you repeat it word for word lol

[Guest Wolfeymole]

That skill is an absolute necessity Dave because then she can't start shouting.

 

At that time though it's prudent to get your own beer from the fridge.

[Dalo Harkin]

Really?? - mine does - it's only when I shout over her I can't hear anything lol

[Guest Wolfeymole]

And if you really feel like living life on the edge then say "Have you considered taking up jogging lately?"

[Dalo Harkin]

lol - I will leave that one to you mate - I would no doubt get a right hook followed by an uppercut :eek:

[Seth]

the best thing is when you say I was listening and they say - 'go on then what did I say'' and you repeat it word for word lol

 

Lol.

 

I've got that technique well refined.

 

The trick is to just hear every second or third word while you're doing something important. Then when she asks "What did I say"? You just organize the garble into something coherent and she'll leave you alone for the next....three seconds:D.

[Goku]

Shall I move this thread to the Tips and Tweaks forum so other desperate souls may gain your wisdom.

 

http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u207/Jackie_1947/Smileybiggrinrockinghead.gif

 

-- Goku

[Guest Wolfeymole]

Stay single Goku it saves stress. :D

[maynardvdm]

ROFL :D

 

You are all crazy. There is no problem a bunch of flowers can't fix :D

[Seth]

ROFL :D

 

You are all crazy. There is no problem a bunch of flowers can't fix :D

 

That is sooo true on both accounts,

 

Goku, what's going on my friend?

[Guest Wolfeymole]

ROFL :D

 

You are all crazy. There is no problem a bunch of flowers can't fix :D

 

Sorry Maynard but you don't know women that well yet mate.

 

Flowers are ok if you come in at midnight drunk.

 

Try offering flowers when you've been with her best mate.

 

They don't work at all on that occasion for some strange reason. :confused: :D :D

[maynardvdm]

That is where my first statement comes in: "You are all crazy" :D

 

You have to know where to draw the line ;)

[Dalo Harkin]

I am waiting for Bonnies input on this one lol :D:D

 

Maynard - we all know that your missus wears the trousers in your relationship :p

 

As for us all being crazy - thats what having a missus does to you :D

[Guest Wolfeymole]

Maynard has yet to find that out Dave and also to discover the delights of walking up and down the bedroom at 3 o'clock in the morning with something that has a higher decibel count than a jumbo jet.

[Dalo Harkin]

Are you referring to the kids or the missus ROFL

[maynardvdm]

***Maynard is looking at the delete button again*** :D:D

[Dalo Harkin]

Maynard - you touch that button and I will pull your arms off and hit you with the soggy ends :p

 

On a more serious note matey - you sort that pc yet?