At Last Mens Rules.

[DSTM]

> We always hear "the rules"

> From the female side.

> Now here are the rules from the male side.

>

> THESE ARE OUR RULES!

> Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "

> ON PURPOSE!

>

> 1. Men are NOT mind readers.

>

> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

> You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

> We need it up, you need it down.

> You don't hear us complaining about you leaving

> it down.

>

> 1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon

> or the changing of the tides.

> Let it be.

>

> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

> And no, we are never going to think of it that

> way.

>

> 1. Crying is blackmail.

>

> 1. Ask for what you want.

> Let us be clear on this one:

> Subtle hints do not work!

> Strong hints do not work!

> Obvious hints do not work!

> Just say it!

>

> 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers

> to almost every question.

>

> 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want

> help solving it. That's what we do.

> Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

>

> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible

> in an argument.

> In fact, all comments become Null and void after

> 7 Days.

>

> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two

> ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

>

> 1. You can either ask us to do something

> Or tell us how you want it done.

> Not both.

> If you already know best how to do it, just do

> it yourself.

>

> 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you

> have to say during commercials..

>

> 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions

> and neither do we.

>

> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows

> default settings.

> Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.

> Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

>

> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

> We do that.

 

> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say

> "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.

> We know you are lying, but it is just not worth

> the hassle.

>

> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an

> answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

>

> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely

> anything you wear is fine.. Really .

>

> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless

> you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball

> or golf.

>

> 1. You have enough clothes.

>

> 1. You have too many shoes.

>

> 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

>

> 1. Thank you for reading this.

> Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch

> tonight;

> But did you know men really don't mind that?

> It's like camping.:p:D

[maynardvdm]

LOL. Good one :D

[DSTM]

Here's 10 more.:D

1. Place an "erase button" in your brain . . . .

Whatever I did five years ago to annoy you is not fair game to bring up every time you're angry.

 

2. My t-shirts are not called nightgowns

 

3. Remember that if I forget your anniversary . . . . I forgot my anniversary, too

 

4. I expect a 30-day warning before you change hair color. Sometimes it requires some pre-therapy.

 

5. Tell me that you're going for coffee with your "friends." Not "girlfriends." They stopped being girls sometime around the paleozoic age.

 

6. The next time you want to go to someplace new . . . . please try the kitchen.

 

7. Please don't tell me when you're not speaking to me

 

8. Every pair of shoes does not need a matching purse

 

9. If you don't want me to lie . . . . never ask me anything

 

10. Always remember that on the average women live longer than men and a lot of men would rather die