Kitty HIV

[NewsBot]

Tonight at work we had a discussion on who knew cats can get HIV, in cats its called FIV.* One girl, a classic of course, asked.* How can a cat get HIV?* Well my interpretation people found quite amusing so I figured I would go through the steps of how a cat gets the "disease that keeps on giving"

 

A male cat sitting at home lounging decides to go out.* He hears of a party going on across town.* This get together is typically referred to as a "meow mix".* As he struggles to reach his mecca, dodging cars and pitt bulls, he arrives and sees this angel among cats.* She has the longest tail, the shiniest coat and the sleekiest legs that he recognizes can leap a 5 foot garbage pail in a single leap.* At first she blows him off, no chance in hell.* Well you know, catnip gets introduced and inhibitions drop.* Her tune changes and she starts thinking, this guy isnt so bad.* The dialog goes as follows.

 

Male cat:* Meeeow

 

Female cat:* Meeow right back at ya big boy

 

They go off in a private area and she neglects to tell him 15 other male cats meeowed her in the last week.* he gets a little catnip, she gets a little catnip, he gets more catnip, she gets more catnip, he gets even more catnip, he gets a liiitle more catnip and its on.* He forgets about the kitty condom and they do the kitty tango.* He finishes up and goes home smoking the black and mild, meowing the lyrics of "Shawty got low" feeling a little victorious.* A little more like the alpha male of the Feline kingdom.

 

A couple of weeks pass, his lymph nodes are the size of tennis balls.* he's dropping weight and not even trying.* He gets the dry cough.* Then it starts, gastrointestinal malfunction and he is feeling bad.* Just lays around can hardly move.* The owner takes him to the vet, a simple blood test administred and a couple of days go by and the results come in.* He's got the Feline immunodeficiency virus.** Now he's got a lifetime of drug cocktails, shots and possibly a bone marrow transplant if his owner decides to go through the expense.* What a shame.* A cat with so much to live for, thwarted by a night of unprotected leisure activities.* A future denied by the side effects of a byproduct of his night of fun. tsk, tsk.

 

 

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